So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
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You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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