I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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