I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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