I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
