I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
