I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
