Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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