he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize
