I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
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Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
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I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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