I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
