yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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