youre lurking in front of me
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
