His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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