this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
