Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
