I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
