where am i from again
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
