So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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