woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
