omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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