in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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