Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize