I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize