i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
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I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
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I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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