you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Randomize
