i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
