Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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