I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
