So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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