he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
