some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
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After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
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IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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