I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
