So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You did what with his pubic hair?
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