what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
