Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit