conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
