I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
