3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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