oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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