Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
