don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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