I will die if light touches me.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
