No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
