I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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