Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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