do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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