I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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