I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize