i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
