It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
