You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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