I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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