Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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