ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
