his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
