her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
