I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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