yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
