and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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