I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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